Tuesday, March 13, 2018
Oh my gosh, I remember. These days a lot of my former life is a blur. Life, it passes in an instant. It's true what they say. The days are so long. The years so short. But, the day you were born. I remember it. I remember knowing. Knowing you were not ok, feeling that burden of a future unknown. Yet, the love was so crazy strong, so overwhelming. That love would carry me, us, to the next step- to the future-to whatever it was, whatever it will be. I held you, my third and last child and in all of your smallness; I felt the weight of your enormous spirit. I felt your will to breathe, to eat, to smile, to flourish. Your mightiness gave me an unquenchable thirst to get up, keep getting up. I have you to thank. To thank for countless tears, too many sleepless nights, unimaginable grief. I have you to thank for perseverance only a mother can know, strength only a mother can muster, love only a mother can feel. I don't even know what this day will bring, every day I cannot control. But I remember holding you in my arms and knowing that we would brave it together. My daughter you have taken so much from me and for that I am grateful because you have given me infinitely more. You took my fear, you took my uncertainty, you took my weakness and you turned into an unbreakable bond. I want you to forever know, I am grateful for all you have taken because the gift of your presence and of your strength-these are things I couldn't have mustered alone. I was not whole before you. Thank you for breaking me into a million pieces and thank you my sweet girl, for putting me back together again.