Eye of the Tiger

Last weekend, my friend Meg sent me a text that Rocky IV was on, so let the DVRing begin!  There are very few things I love as much as Rocky.  The music during the training scenes almost make me want to do physical activity, and the winter Olympics are coming up in Sochi, Russia (if you have had NBC on for a nanosecond you would know this-wow, can you say overkill!), so I had yet another excuse to watch one of my favorite flicks. Anyway, I picked out some epic lines from Rocky IV to share. Keep in mind, I have never claimed to be movie critic or even remotely intelligent, so take the following with a grain of salt. My tongue-in-cheek responses from this timeless film are in italics. Yes, I said timeless.

"You ain't never gettin' rid of me"-Rocky to Adrian
Through thick and thin baby. They are in it for the long haul. What's that?  Of course, I know it's just a movie. ;)

"But once you step out of that ring, Stallion, you're ancient history"-Apollo
It sucks not being relevant, I feel ya Apollo!

"You think maybe it ain't against him. You think maybe it's you against you." -Rocky to Apollo before he fights Drago
It always is.

"I want you to use your head for something instead of a punching bag."-Rocky to his son
Parents always want more for their kids.

"We can't change what we are."- Rocky to Adrian trying to defend his decision to fight Drago
Poor Rocky is always trying to prove himself to his bride.

"You can't win!."-Adrian to Rocky on the steps before he leaves to train in Russia
As Adam and Meg say, at that moment, something snaps in Rocky.

"You know what you gotta do, now do it. Do it."-Apollo's old trainer to Rocky when they get to Russia to train
Let the games begin

"I'm with you, no matter what."-Adrian coming to Russia while Rocky is training
Of course you are.

"Hit the one in the middle." Pauley to Rocky during his fight with Drago
No smart ass comment here, I just love this line.

"For me, for me!"-Drago during the last fight with Rocky
In my opinion, if something so important is only done for yourself, then you are in trouble.  Not to spoil the ending, but Drago was in trouble indeed.

"If I can change, you can change." Rocky's speech to Russian audience after defeating Drago
Amen


But really, after it's all said and done, don't we all just want to be loved the way Rocky loved Adrian.

Oh yeah!

Kind

From one child to another

I'm the kid you pass in the hall, say hello to, maybe share a moment in class,
I act differently than you and sometimes do not do as I am asked.
I spin, or twirl or flap my arms seemingly without care,
but there are times and experiences that with you I'd like to share.
I love clapping, singing, and laughing, and a stranger I've not met-
like you I am made in God's imagine, without shame, guilt or regret.
I know sometimes it is easier to laugh with friends even during my distress,
and wonder if you'll ask yourself why you mock the one whose words can't be expressed​?
Yet I promise I don't blame you, my own brother struggles from time to time too,
to be the one who has to stand up, instead of being cruel.
Parents too can be confusing and on their children many old prejudices land,
it is true of them as well, they are frightened by what they don't understand.
I hope in time you look into your heart because I know like mine it shines,
and then your mind will ask of you-will I be the one others call kind?

Mary Claire, Johnny's Mom

Remembering Meagan

"It takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, and a day to love them, but it takes an entire lifetime to forget them."

Author Unknown

There are some people that just brighten your life just by being in the same room with them. They are loved by all who know them. They have a positivity and light about them-like a glow. They are just better than the rest of us. That was Meagan Toothman.

We found Meagan through a babysitting website and the moment she was with any of my kids everything felt easier. She clicked right away with our family. We weren't “weird” or “different”. She had the innate understanding that all children are the same in that they want to be paid attention to, loved, read to, sang to and she did all of these things effortlessly.
I remember the first time she went to the pool with us in the summer. I was always worried about taking someone new to the pool because it would send most running for the hills. Johnny can be, how do I put it, a handful. He enjoys sprinting along the edge of the entire pool, taking the food right from an unassuming hand of a toddler, and jumping off the board so close to the side your breath literally is sucked from your body watching him. And this is all within the first 10-15 minutes of arrival, but Meagan never missed a beat. She loved the joy he took from being in the water, never tired of chasing him, and wasn't fazed by the people who whispered, stared or made comments under their breath (in their defense, though, when Johnny sweeps in and rips a spiderman toy from the chubby hands of your two year-old in the baby pool, it can be upsetting for a new parent) As Adam says, the deck is stacked against you when you take Johnny to the swimming pool. He describes it like going one-on-one with Lebron, playing to 10 and spotting him 8, you are going to get beat. But Meagan just went with it. Meagan would take on any challenge with Johnny and come out of it making me wish I had half the patience she had. She may have been only twenty-two years-old at the time.
Oh, and how Elizabeth loved her. She was patient, kind, beautiful. They would read books, play outside, and watched cheerleading competitions. Meagan would put Elizabeth's arms up in the air and have her pretend like she was doing a cheer. Elizabeth would laugh and laugh.
I know that we were only a small part of her life, just one summer she was with us. She was also a coach, student, mentor, daughter, sister and so much more to so many people. I never have met Meagan's mother, but if I had I would tell her that her daughter was one of the most special people I have ever met. She was genuine, pretty, smart, kind, and funny. She was an angel even before she was taken from us.
This is truly a case where you can ask God “why” and you will never get an answer that will make your heart mend. Her spirit was uncomparable, her smile contagious, her energy was unmatched. We truly miss you Meagan!

Johnny's Favs

"Autists are the ultimate square pegs, and the problem with pounding a square peg into a round hole is not that the hammering is hard work. It's that you're destroying the peg."

Paul Collins

Wonderful Quotes from Johnny's favorite author:

Dr. Seuss

"Fun is good."

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

"Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple."

"Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one."

"It's not about what it is, it's about what it can become."

"I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too. Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you."

"When he worked, he really worked.  But when he played, he really PLAYED."

"You're never too old, too wacky, too wild, to pick up a book and read to a child."

Helen Keller

"I seldom think about my limitations, and they never make me sad. Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers. "

"Toleration is the greatest gift of the mind; it requires the same effort of the brain that it takes to balance oneself on a bicycle."

"What I am looking for is not out there, it is in me.

"Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence."

"Self-pity is our worst enemy, and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world."

Yep-nothing

That awkward moment when you realize that your life is absolutely positively nothing like the people with whom you associate. It happens often to me, because our life is so very different than anyone with "typical" kids. This first realization, though, really sticks out. For me, it was when I was hanging out with a group of friends, which I love to do so very much, and the kids were little and my friends were chatting out what they were worried about at the time. Granted, these were and are important and significant things, things I worried about with my "typical" child, but it was still so striking to me. I was and continue thinking if I ever will hear the words "I love you", will my child ever be invited to a friend's to play or worse will he know/care he was never invited, will he ever go to the bathroom on his own, will he ever sleep in his own bed or through the night, will he ever be able to play/work/live somewhat independently? These are my everyday worries, every hour, every minute questions. It is that until you have that first time, where it is so apparent that your life, and more importantly, your children's lives, are going to be so very different than most of the people that you are surrounded by everyday. Sometimes that is a very lonely feeling, even if you have the very best of friends.

Bossypants=hilarious

Bossypants is a spectacularly funny read. Some of my favorite quotes from the book:

“My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne.”

“Photoshop is just like makeup. When it’s done well it looks great, and when it’s overdone you look like a crazy asshole.”

“You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at.”

“There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist.”

“...I can't possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody's business and I'll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life.”

"We should leave people alone about their weight. Being chubby for a while (provided you don’t give yourself diabetes) is a natural phase of life and nothing to be ashamed of. Like puberty or slowly turning into a Republican.”

"Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not.”


Tina Fey

Great Quotes!

"Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever.... "

-Isak Dinesen

"Regardless of how you feel inside, always try and look like a winner. Even if you are behind, a sustained look of control and confidence can give you a mental edge that results in victory. "

-Arthur Ashe

"Never, never, never give up."

-Winston Churchill

"Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it's something you design for the present."

-Jim Rohn

"Find a place inside where there's joy, and the joy will burn out the pain."

-Joseph Campbell

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."

-Albert Einstein

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart."

-Hellen Keller

What must it feel like?

Today I have been wondering what it must feel like for Jacob having his "special" brother and sister. Does he sometimes feel lucky because he is the different one and things come easy for him? Or does he feel burdened by their constant need for attention? Of course, I have asked him this question, but an 11 year-old boy is not always great at sharing his feelings and, I speak for only my own child here, he is sometimes only articulate in sports and bodily functions. What does he feel like when we are at the park, at his games, around his friends. Does he ever get embarrassed? Does he or will he resent them? Us?

Yesterday, Adam and I were particularly hard on Jacob because he hadn't gotten his homework done before he played with his friends and then right before bed announced he needed to go to the library for a new book-the way I reacted he might as well have told me he took a weapon to school. I overreacted, I was tired and "done" . Full disclosure, I think I was not only feeling overwhelmed, but resentful that he got to go play all afternoon with his million friends without a care in the world and his brother and sister will never get to do that. Is that his fault? Of course not, and I shouldn't have been so short and acted so frustrated with him. He is a good boy and a good brother and he deserves a normal 11 year-old boy life. (although with his bat crazy mother this may prove more difficult than having two disabled siblings!). Bottom line, I need someone to invent a patience/perspective pill and put me on it either via IV or 3x a day minimum. Wait, I think they have those already, may be time to make an appointment!

Ache

No light
Can’t wake
In your heart the constant ache
Is it real?
The sleep eludes
Not time to wake so very soon
Eyes are swollen
Were there dreams?
The need for rest becomes extreme.
Starting over the day anew
The minutes alone are too few.
They can’t know the wear and tear
Smile and face what you cannot bear.


Mary Claire Brass

Friendship

“You can talk with someone for years, everyday, and still, it won't mean as much as what you can have when you sit in front of someone, not saying a word, yet you feel that person with your heart, you feel like you have known the person for forever.... connections are made with the heart, not the tongue.”

C. Joybell C.

Gratitude

Writing
Writing is such a release and a personal relief from stress. Recently, just short writing blocks have helped me from feeling like I am having a panic attack-which I suppose is a positive thing! Taking this forum is new for me, I hope I can express my feelings appropriately. On that note, expressing gratitude, even in low points, really has worked in getting out of a funk. So today I am grateful for the many generous caregivers in our life that help us with the kids. Mom, Dad, Abbey, Christina, Alex, Kayla, Matthew, Pam (and the countless people at church) and Sarah-you are appreciated! Oh and the teachers, aides, therapists who work with the kiddos every single day- truly you are angels from God! When Hillary said it takes a village, she had no idea.....

What are you grateful for?

(and please do not say people that don't end sentences with a preposition.)

My friend Denise-such a gift-always helps me with the kids! Here she and Johnny are before taking a ride in her sweet convertible! Wonder why he loves her?

So grateful for Fall, then found out my furnace is broken. So now I am thankful for a woodburning fireplace.

If this is fuzzy, it is because Johnny was throwing an absolute fit on the way to school yesterday and beating on the back of my seat. I pulled over to calm us both down and spotted this sunrise. I saw its beauty as a sign from God. Which worked out nicely for Johnny, because he needed a little God at that moment!

Have I mentioned how grateful I am for Johnny and Elizabeth's teachers? Heather, Lindsey, Judy, Kathy-thank you for making this picture happen-I know it wasn't easy. I will blog on this later, I have to stop laughing first!

Today, I am grateful for Sarah. She is a consummate caregiver and always is there for our family (the baby she is kissing? I have no clue, she loves them all and they love her!) She also reads and comments on every single thing I write, which is so very nice. Love you Sarah!