Showing posts with label That Awkward Moment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label That Awkward Moment. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Ah yes, the barking

That awkward moment when you realize you have turned your service dog into a spoiled rotten house pet. This happened quite awhile ago but because my dog barks so incessantly, I am reminded often of yet another quest where I have failed miserably. The quick background--my daughter Elizabeth was diagnosed with epilepsy at age 1. She had seizures quite often back then and we thought a dog that could anticipate and support her if she fell from a seizure would be a wonderful thing for our sweet girl. My mom and I went to Frankfort and Elizabeth and myself went through 8 hours of training a day for a week. This in and of itself was the most ridiculous thing. Elizabeth was 2, couldn't walk at the time and was so tiny and Red, our "service" dog was huge. She was supposed to bond with Red by feeding and giving treats to the dog, neither of which she was capable of doing. Needless to say, Red and I came home best friends. Now I love this dog like he is one of my children, but we managed to turn a perfectly trained dog at the time into one that I now spy sleeping and shedding simultaneously on my couch unless there is a faint sound outside and then he will get up and bark like a mad dog for 10 minutes. The barking happens when we say outside, spell outside, get shoes on, grab keys, grab a plastic garbage bag, head in the general direction of the door-well you get the idea. My mom asked me at the time (foreshadowing), "what if this doesn't work out with the dog?" My response, "well I guess it'll be like having a fourth child" (self-fulfilling prophecy).

When they say a picture is worth a thousand word-truth!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Reality Bites


That awkward moment when you really realize you'll never be Savannah Guthrie. It just happened to me seriously this morning. Knocking on the door of 39, I still thought somewhere in the back of my mind that if NBC just happened upon me (yep in Fort Thomas, KY) that they would realize I should be seated next to Matt. I thought it when I was watching Jane Pauley, Katie, Meredith and just today realized that it may, ok won't, ever be me. I know I could party with Kathy Lee and Hoda, shoot the shit with Al and Willie., totally hang with Carson (great addition by the way)-but it really is over. So what if I am a slightly overweight mother of three who lives in Northern Kentucky, has special needs kids and a home that is an absolute wreck-I think I really thought (you read that right), that I would someday get a seat at the table. I don't remember a lot about childhood, but I do remember my mother telling me I could be whatever I wanted to be. Well, mom, I haven't totally decided what I want to be when I grow up, but for the first time Today (pardon the pun) I realized it wasn't going to be a 7-9 gig on must-see morning TV-and that sucks. I guess it is time for a new goal-I think it will be to have someone look at me like Willie looks at Brooke when she guest hosts—utter awe. Man that would be something. Totally legit though, she absolutely rocks.-who knew?

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Back to work?

That awkward moment when your 86 year-old grandmother wonders "what you have been up to", meaning "when are you going back to work?" I have been getting it a lot lately, my mom, "what did you do today?" My husband, "we could use some extra cash." (wow, is that the understatement of the year) On October 12, it will be 2 years since I left work. Outside of the births of my three children, leaving work was the single greatest day of my life. I could focus on my family full time now. And I have done that, but more than that I have loved not having the Sunday blues, constant evening anxiety, the juggling act. It's the damn paycheck that I miss. Until recently, though, people have not mentioned anything about it. I guess they figured I needed this "break", and I guess now they figure "break time" is over.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Too Perfect?

That awkward moment when your husband gets his physical back and it's damn near perfect, and he tells you maybe we should eat more fruit and salad over your nightly bowl of Doritos and wine. The man needs a vice. He needs to be addicted to gambling, porn, cigarettes-for the love of God-something! He did have one moment of weakness over the weekend where he lost his mind on Sat. night. Life was just too much with the kids and he desperately needed everyone to go to bed. They had beaten him down, they had won. Now this happens to me 25 times a day, kids-25, me-0. But Adam, it takes a lot to make him break and with no vice? I just don't get it. Oh sorry, I forgot, he does have one vice, he has excercise-that appears to be it. Borderline offensive if you ask me.

Oh, and we have plenty of fruit by the way.