Friday, January 31, 2014


That are so not funny...............

Miley and Madonna performing together-sorry, yes it is, it is hilarious!

Being asked when you turned 40 if you are not yet 40.  For me,  this statement is starting to turn into the "are you pregnant" of getting older.  Neither of which are good.

My obsession with mini pizzas. It's like I can hear them calling me from the freezer.

Children that stay up at night as late as you do

Long lines at the deli (I know they 
are busy back there, but they appear to just be ignoring me-weird)

Adult acne

Stress sweat

Eye twitching

My make-up in the natural light-inner Tammy Faye unleashed! 

The word "domesticity"-it sounds fancy, it means-crap work

The gas and electric bill in Feb.

Falling on the ice, unless you witnessed me doing it-then funny for you. 

Migraines and mean people 

Not being able to put lotion on your own back

Running out of milk in the morning (oddly with all of my shortcomings, Adam gets the most upset about this-really??)



Thursday, January 30, 2014

Tribute Tuesday

My friends-what I wish you knew

I wish you had the confidence in yourself that I do in you. The confidence you need as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee-you are amazing in all of your roles. I know you are tired, run down, pushed to the brink, but I wish you saw what I saw. I know it is not easy and I understand why.
I understand that now you are responsible for another person's life, their life.  How is it that when we were coming out of college, going to graduate school or interviewing for jobs, choosing mates, we had more confidence than we do now.  We knew we were good enough and smart enough because we were! We still are, even more so.  It seems, though, that now that we are mothers-when it comes to our children, we are so worried that we will do something wrong and screw everything up.  And of course, we will. We will say and do lots of things that we wish we would've said and done differently. Intuitively, we know this. But in reality, we are scared to death of it.
But even when it doesn't work out or "look" like we thought it should, you will be ok.  How do I know that? You are you.  You are so thoughtful, so smart, so beautiful, so unbelievably strong.  You are going to do the best you can and I've seen a lot of your best (and some of the worst, as you have seen mine :)). I have also seen you excel and do wonderful things and now that you are doing the most important thing, motherhood, I don't want you to doubt yourself. Your children love you deeply as you love them.  No matter what happens in the future, I know-because I know you, that you will excel and some things will work out and others will not.  I also know you wish you knew what the obstacles were going to be, but know this- that you will love through them.  You will not break, but you will bend, and that is ok.  Allow yourself to do that.  Allow yourself to make mistakes, allow your children to do the same.  I am not saying this because I am practicing it myself all the time, but I want to. I want to tell myself mostly positive things so I can pass inner strength along to my children. I want that for you too. Let's promise to laugh more and cry less. Let's promise to always be there for each other as we always have been. Let's continue to inspire each other.  Of course, I know all of this is so much easier said than done. I am confident though, as friends, we can get through it together. I am so grateful for that and for you.

Monday, January 27, 2014

A Grammy's Fan Letter

Dear Madonna,
You can do whatever you want- you are Madonna.  And you did, with your grill and your cane. Your young son is articulate, polite, and cute-how did you manage that?
I still love you and have guilt about that.
Ironically yours,

Dear Beyonce,
Oh my goodness. You evoke feelings in me I didn't know I had.
Lovingly yours,
A creepy old "er" lady

Dear Pink,
There are no words. You defy logic and gravity. You are pure entertainment.
Spectacularly yours,

Dear Taylor,
Keep bringing it. Don't listen to the haters.
Sincerely yours,
Someone old enough to be your Mother

Dear Daft Punk,
You stayed up all night and got lucky.
Respectfully yours,

Dear JayZ,
I don't know what you did in a previous life, but I am pretty sure it had to have been sainthood.
You are one fortunate SOB. I do think sometimes you have that look on your face that says, "I have no idea how I am getting away with this." Congratulations, neither do the rest of us.
Baffledly yours,
Your wife's stalker

Dear adorable/smart/spectacular person who sings "Brave". Thank you for being unbelievably talented. I could listen to you and Carole King sing all day. You glow. That's right, I remember-it is Sara Bareilles. Sara-you are fabulous.
Hummingly yours,

Dear Macklemore,
You give people hope and speak up for others. Thank you. I look forward to your next song! You rock, but dude, what about Ryan Lewis? Gotta give that guy some credit!
Oh, and Thrift shop makes me smile. :)
Anticipatingly yours,
A fan

Dear Katy Perry,
You are perfect.
Adoringly yours,
Person who could never figure out the why you married Russell Brand in the first place

Dear Justin (Timberlake that is),
I understand you are getting your BFF Jimmy ready for his new gig. However, you must show up, as eye candy, if nothing else. Seriously where were you?
Piningly yours,

Thursday, January 23, 2014

9 things I don't understand

Disclaimer: what you are about to read means absolutely nothing

  1. Bruce Jenner pictures circa 1977, and then photos today. Shocking. I am all about doing whatever it takes to make yourself feel more confident, but wow!
  2. Are Natalie Morales and Tamron Hall really that pretty?
  3. Richard Sherman went to Stanford? Post interviews are pretty articulate, however, and he does play in one of the world's most violent sports and he got smacked in the head by Crabtree immediately after the game. He still went a little coo-coo on the crazy bus
  4. How Greek yogurt isn't mistakenly labeled sour cream with fruit
  5. "Sizzurp"-I thought I was an idiot when I was a teenager
  6. It's really freakin' cold, but why does my dog go outside and pee on the grill every time before going to the yard?
  7. How I could have left Chipotle in the fridge for 4 days without knowing it? No worries, I ate it anyway. Still delicious.
  8. Why I keep sabotaging myself by drinking coffee while whitening my teeth?
  9. The infatuation with Justin Bieber? Two really disturbing silly things about this recent "news" story 
    1. Justin can reach the gas/break pedal on a real car
    2. His Dad is 38 years-old

Late Addition
10. That Congressman verbally assaulting the reporter makes Sherman look like a Girl Scout

Monday, January 20, 2014

Manic Monday

Temper Temper

How did today sneak up on me? Another day off school. I know, I know- no one wants to hear another rant about how I can't handle one more day off school for the kids. So I won't do that, well I might a little bit. Things had actually been going my way, the kids slept in until 7:30.  I had a hot breakfast made (no kidding, I absolutely did!). Jacob had a ride to practice so I didn't have to pack everyone up to go in the cold for a few hours. No one had lost their mind yet. It was shaping up to be great day.  
Then we did our rituals of shapes, colors, numbers, puzzles, books, videos, changing, a second full meal and before you know it 9:00 am rolls around. Then the text came in, my reinforcements, whom I affectionately call anyone that is  brave enough to come in and help with the kids, was sick and unable to come. So that sent my optimistic outlook on the day spinning down, down, down. I decided we would do one more round of songs, usually a repertoire of Taylor Swift videos, and then everyone was going to play by themselves for a few minutes/seconds.  Ha, ha!  No they weren't, but dare to dream.
Let the meltdowns begin!
We had a meltdown over a box of Raisin Bran dumped on the floor and then another meltdown when a huge bag of pretzels also made their way out of the bag all over the floor. Ironically, neither a food the dog will eat so there was significant clean-up. Obviously when I say "we" had a meltdown, I, of course mean "me", no one else cares if there is crap all over the floor, they don't have to clean it up. So, I had slightly raised my voice at Elizabeth because she was shaking the box upside down when it launched and flew into three rooms, then I yelled at Johnny for walking through it and laughing hysterically at the crunch sound as I was trying to clean it up, and then I yelled at Jacob for not getting up to help me, turns out he couldn't hear me because his Beats were on and they drown everything out, interestingly enough my voice is the one thing he consistently can't hear. Since it was still early, I had to figure out a way to keep my temper in check so I went to my "go to" strategies for not walking out the front door never to return.

  • inhale, hold breath for 4-5 seconds, release through your mouth-instant relaxation
  • start singing in a really silly voice (sometimes this does scare Elizabeth, I think because I am tone deaf and it sounds like an animal dying)
  • get perspective-was anyone bleeding or dying?  Not this time, for the love of God, calm down
  • Counting. The counting to 10 thing does work apparently, but I can only go to 5 because by 10 something else has already been destroyed, there's no time to get to ten
  • dance around or jump up and down like a moron, this usually breaks the mood and makes everyone chill and just stare at me like they can't believe I am the person in charge of taking care of them. Trust me, they're not the only ones thinking it!
Suddenly, I felt something in my neck pop. I'm not trying to be funny or sarcastic now, it was really scary. What comes next, however, might be borderline weird-my mind immediately went to Julia Roberts in Steel Magnolias where she is lying on the floor and her baby is crying for her and Dylan McDermott finds her unconscious. Horrific. Elizabeth had lost my phone hours ago, so if something happened, how would I let anyone know?  What would the kids do?  Who would take care of them? How could Dylan, I mean, Adam, do it alone?
A tad over dramatic as it turns out, I was fine. Thank goodness. The day did not slow down or get easier from here, however I was more grateful for anything good that happened, rather than focusing on the bad things that kept creeping in.

This evening, because we had all made it through the day relatively unscathed, I decided to do my Gratitude entry at the end of this post because I was appreciative for a fire, a glass of wine, and eventually, silence. Also, I need to get out some positive energy because the weather forecast tomorrow looks less than promising (eek  : /).

If you're still with me, thanks, that in and of itself takes patience. Below is what I am grateful for today:
I am grateful to Martin Luther King for blazing a trail that has made the world a significantly better place.  I am grateful to the women that went to work today and held it all down so our daughters can continue to take over the world. I am grateful to moms who won't get a break at all this morning, afternoon, and tonight and will keep doing it all the best they know how and then again tomorrow-you are my motivation! And I am especially grateful tonight for this venue to list all my shortcomings and hopefully, become a better Mother for it!

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Wayback "Whens"day

While absently watching ESPN, and by watching I mean of course that I am staring straight forward because I am beyond exhausted, but I am not focused on what is actually playing on the television right in front of me. Simultaneously, a version of Sportscenter remains on constant repeat from 6-8 AM, and for some reason unbeknownst to me, 6-8 PM as well. (Adam will argue this is a gross exaggeration, but it really seems like all the time) Anyway, a 30 year anniversary commercial for a pizza place comes on and unbelievably, but likely because I am in a slight coma,  the TV is not muted so this happens:
Jacob:   "Mom, Were you alive in 1984?"
Me:       "Yes, I was 10 years old, why?"
Jacob:   "Wow, you are older than Papa John's pizza."

That is all.

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

Tribute Tuesday

Interview with a Grandmother

My Grandmother is 87 years-old and she is a phenomenon.  She keeps up with, has an opinion on, and speaks eloquently on everything from football to politics.  It is really amazing to have a conversation with her. Recently, I asked her to have lunch with me so I could pick her brain about her long and full life.  What she shared reinforced my high opinion of her.  I hope to use it in my daily life, feel free to do with it what you will.
She was an 18 years-old girl with a baby barely over two weeks and her husband had already been drafted into the US Army.  Seems normal enough  "in those times", I guess, until her 22 year-old husband's plane goes down in a crash that kills him immediately.  His name was Ken Alexander and he never saw his new baby boy; Grandmama remembers her young husband fondly.  A man with a lot of friends whom everyone liked with a good disposition. A new father, smart and attractive. Thankfully, that event alone was enough to shape a person, but certainly not break a person, at least not her. In my mind, this was probably where she became the strong force of a woman that I have always known her to be.  Mom, Mary Louise, Mary, Grandmama, HoneyGram, Mona, Honey, and Grandma are her titles and she has held them all with strength and grace and still does to this day!  I thought it so interesting that one of the things she is most proud of is the melding of families over the years of her children's spouses. She has four children and the building of the extended family has always been a priority for her. She said of having children, "I don't know what my life would be without them."  Dad, Jane, Ann, and Sally are very fortunate indeed.

Grandmama worked outside the home while she was having children and loved working.  She loved to feel valued in a job and enjoyed different roles in event planning.  She still has a name plate displayed in her apartment that says Mary Davis, Social Chairperson.  I love that!  She is the first to admit that she was able to work because she had help. Get this, Grandmama's mother and aunt lived with her and my Grandfather- her Aunt Edie for 18 years! They had 8 people in one house, six women, two men-1 bathroom!

And, of course, there's Papaw.  My grandfather was everything to all who knew him.  A teacher, a coach, a father, a grandfather-and so much more-that was Don Davis.  I thought it telling when I asked Grandmama what her best advice would be and she said-"It is really important who you marry."  Easy for her to say, she married Papaw and hit the jackpot!  She described him as selfless, putting everyone above himself. They were married for 56 years. Papaw died on January 14, 2002, it was one of the saddest days of my life. And that it just occurred to me that today is also January 14, which brings my heart an overwhelming sense of both joy and sadness. Grandmama remembered something Papaw would say to his children, "Remember who you are." What we say as parents now, "don't do anything stupid and embarrass me!"  I like his version better. As a coach, when a kid would make a mistake and start making excuses and comment, "but I thought",  Papaw would come back with, "That's your problem, you think too much." I can just picture him saying that.  He never had malice or meanness in his voice- but he could be matter-of-fact. Papaw was pure love, commitment, honesty, fun, and family. And I must mention the chalkboard in Grandmama's kitchen that reads, "I love you," which Papaw wrote to her which has never been erased, and whenever I see it; I am reminded of what a gift he was. I relished in hearing my Grandmother speak of him exactly as I had remembered.

Even though these are just a few nuggets from Grandmama's rich life, I hope to learn more from her in the days to come. I understand that a blog posting could never do justice to all of the experiences and accomplishments that have happened over 8 decades, but even a small part of her long life is worth sharing.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Keeping Score

You know why keeping score is never good, especially with a spouse? Well obviously because, someone has to lose. I know you were thinking other obvious reasons not to keep score like um, it is not healthy for a marriage, it could cause resentment, it pits you against each other, etc. blah, etc.  But really, it just sucks be on the losing end.  OK seriously, I do feel the "I did this so you need to do that" isn't really the best way to come into or go out of a weekend, but do you feel like sometimes you just can't help it?  Do you ever feel like you are the one doing the puzzles, wiping butts, switching laundry, putting the dishes in the dishwasher, cleaning up toys- you get the point. But now, coming out of the haze of a whole lot of family time over the weekend, I realize the reality of the situation- I totally lost again.  You see, I had been looking so forward to the Golden Globes, not just the Globes however, the sixteen (no, not sixteen, 6. Yes, 6) hours of pre-Globes with the dresses, the interviews, the Bradley, and of course, the Queens of the Universe who in my mind are my close, personal friends, Amy and Tina. Judge if you must, but I am here to tell you, it is not a good look on you. Anyway, it is hard to do the aforementioned kids stuff when you want to be committed to E News and NBC for much of the day. I am not sure who I thought was doing all the work around here when I clearly wasn't, but still had my "poor pitiful me" attitude going into the evening.  I don't even want to list what Adam accomplished during the day because it will surely make you feel even worse for him being married to me than you already do. The moral of the story-if you know you are going to lose-stop keeping score!  Just kidding, the moral should be appreciation for what you have accomplished during a given day rather than what you haven't, appreciation for what your husband or significant other does-what other moms and dads are doing that are much harder and more taxing, and gratitude for the day in general.  It's a lofty attitude adjustment, I know, but it's better than losing!  And occasionally you'll get a moment like this in the picture, so very rare with Johnny...............and you realize no matter what-you've actually won.

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

The mind is the first to go.............

The extended winter break has taught me a lot about myself, and not in the best ways, unfortunately. So in the year 2014, it is a given that my body needs some work, but my mind needs some serious fine tuning. I have decided to log some thoughts I have had over the break and take a moment to reflect on what my old 2013 self should have been telling my new and "improved" 2014 self.

2013 me: I cannot do this for one more minute.
2014 response to me: You have to do this for a lot more minutes, hours, days, years- get over yourself.

2013 me: These kids are trying to kill me.
2014 response to me: Don't worry, the wine will get you first.

2013 me: It is only 8:30 am
2014 response to me: It is 8:30 am and freezing outside, you get to stay warm in your home and don't have to be on the dangerous roads or worse, dying a slow death in a cubicle. See that grass over there-greener!

2013 me: If only they could tell me what they want!
2014 response to me: Even if they could tell you, you would probably not want to hear it anyway.

2013 me: I beg of you (to the children) please play by yourselves.
2014 response to me: At least you don't have play board games, you loathe board games.

2013 me: Why can my husband get out of this house to go to work, but no one can get in the house to help me!?
2014 response to me: I wouldn't want to get in to help you either, you are acting like a whiny bitch.

2013 me: I am never going to get back to the gym.
2014 response to me: Oh please, you weren't going to the gym when they were in school, run the steps/do a sit-up/insert any other physical activity here ________.

2013 me: Start cleaning out closets and getting this house organized-you are so lazy!
2014 response to me: Just throw/give everything away and start over (it appears the laziness may carry over to 2015).

2013 me: Not even an ecard can make me feel better today!
2014 response to me: That is never true, ecards always make you feel better. It has been posted before, but it is worth repeating for sure, see below:

2013 me: I do love me some Britney Spears-who knows, maybe I will have a show in Vegas someday.
2014 response to me: Or better yet, go to a Britney show in Vegas! You are clearly a much better spectator.

OK, so I still need some work, but Christmas/New Year's break has made my mind stronger-really it has! I know my kids were happier this year than ever before. I let some things go (that wasn't meant to be a joke about my lack of exercise, by the way) and I tried to embrace each day. Some of the moments during these days weren't pretty, things got broken, but kids stayed in one piece for the most part :/. I hugged more and yelled less. I did the best that I could. 2013 me knows things are never going to be even close to perfect or even normal in this house. 2014 me wants to continue laugh, sing, dance and embrace the crazy-because the reality is, that's the only choice I have.

I doubt this posts, Johnny just poured half a Sprite on the keyboard.....2014 me is trying to keep it together.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Telltale signs it is time for the kids to go back to school

Christmas decorations still up, except those that have been broken-wish I cared

Pajamas all day long-not a care

Pizza for breakfast lunch and possibly dinner-should care

Capri Suns strung about the house, sticky floors everywhere- don't care

Presents that have already been destroyed-tried to care

Hair that should have been highlighted weeks ago-kind-of care

Haven't worked out in months-wanna care

Bags under my eyes so big-borderline offensive-don't have the energy to care

School has been canceled again for tomorrow-totally care