Wednesday, April 23, 2014

What Women Want Wednesday

Women want.......

 Fitness not to be as elusive as the Loch ness

 The Chick-fil-a line to be shorter, although it is fascinating how quickly it goes

The dishes to be done, preferably by someone else


One chin

Wine not to have calories

Cellulite cream that keeps it promise (and eye cream, and fine line cream, oh and under eye circle cream.....)


Chocolate and chips at the ready

Never to be told "no"

To laugh......often

For no child to ever be hungry or suffer

Friendships, fun, flowers (in that order)

To hear an old school Bon Jovi, Poison, or Def Leopard song spontaneously on the radio once a day (no? just me, I guess)

Did I mention sleep..........

Ah yes, and this of course!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Somewhere In Between

Twelve Reasons why we love our almost teenagers, but don't always like them so much.............

1.) You say "I love you," he mumbles something and then "ya too." Ah, heartwarming

2.) His unbridled rage can make you want to hug, hit, and run away from him all at the same time.

(I have no idea where that rage comes from, by the way ;))

3.) He can literally hate and love the very same thing within seconds, and how dare you not know why?

4.) He tightens when you try and hug or kiss him, but turns into a big softy at bedtime, which is also now your bedtime and ironically the only time he wants affection and you desperately just want to sleep!

5.) His interests are Sports, sports, oh, and sports

6.) Just when you thought you had perfected the art of sarcasm, you realize you have nothing on the smartass mouth of a twelve year-old

7.) Don't even bring up the opposite sex, it is so clearly none of your business

8.) You see yourself in the eye roll and you want to smack yourself (and him) in the face and simultaneously apologize to your own Mother

9.) You realize it might be time for both of you to be seeing a therapist

10.) Hormones

11.) You thought drama was reserved for 12 year-old girls. Epic mistake.

12.) He doesn't need you as much, but you still want him to :(

Happy Birthday to my sweet, smart, funny, talented, frustrating, infuriating, crazy, wouldn't trade him for the world (most days), one and only-Jacob Alexander Brass

4 weeks
12 years

When life hands you lemons..............

Watch Tommy Boy

Whatever the question-watching this movie is always a good answer. It's a classic. (Yes, seriously, I believe that is!)  Man, how I loved Chris Farley. He and David Spade in this movie are comedic heaven. Back in the day, I made my mom watch Tommy Boy with me. She didn't particularly think the movie was that funny, but she thought it was really funny watching me watch the movie. Anyway, last week was a bit of a rough one with Elizabeth, more on that later, and I needed a good laugh. Luckily, Tommy Boy never disappoints.

Below are some of my favorite lines (thanks to

Richard (David Spade) picks Tommy (Chris Farley) up at the airport after he finally graduates from college:
Tommy: I l-left a message.
Richard:  A message? What number did you call?
Tommy: Two, four, niner, five, six, seven...
Richard: I can't hear you, you're trailing off and did I catch a niner in there? Were you calling from a walkie-talkie?
Tommy: No, it was cordless.
Richard: You know what? Don't. Not here, not now.

Richard: [Watching Tommy eat french fries and then squirting ketchup into his mouth
Ugh, I can actually hear you getting fatter.

Richard quizzing Tommy before they go out to try and make a sale.
Richard: What is our carrying charge for all the merchandise in the warehouse?
Tommy: Ohhhh, man...
Richard: One and a...
Tommy: ...half percent. I knew that. Why can't I remember it?
Richard: Try an association like, uhhh... Let's say the average person uses ten percent of their brain. How much do you use? One and a half percent. The rest is clogged with malted hops and bong resin.

Richard: [after Tommy explodes in a client's office] That guy may not call us.
Tommy: I can't believe he called me a psycho.
Richard: Hey, were you in there just now? You are a psycho... Good God. And comb your hair.

Tommy: Did you hear I finally graduated?
Richard: Yeah, and just a shade under a decade too. All right.
Tommy: You know a lot of people go to college for seven years.
Richard: I know, they're called doctors.

[Tommy carelessly set an open bag of M&M's on the dashboard and they immediately pour into an open vent]
Richard: Oh that sounds good: melted chocolate inside the dash. That really ups the resale value.
Tommy: I think you'll be okay here, they have a thin candy shell. 'Surprised you didn't know that.
Richard: I think your brain has a thick candy shell.
Tommy: Your... Your brain has the shell on it.
Richard: Are you talking?
Tommy: Shut up, Richard.

[Richard and Tommy almost got in a car accident]
Richard: Hey... I was just thinking... when we stopped for gas this morning I think it was you who put the oil in.
Tommy: Hey if you're going to say I didn't put the right kind in, you're wrong. I used 10-W-30. And besides, motor oil would have nothing to do with this accident.
Richard: True. But you can't latch the hood too well, IF YOU DON'T TAKE THE CAN OUT, YOU NO-SELLING WASTE OF SPACE.
[Tommy winces at his mistake]
Richard: I swear to God, you're worthless!

[Seeing Tommy's office]
Richard: You have a window! And why shouldn't you? You've been here ten minutes.

Now, picture Chris Farley in David Spade's blue blazer doing "fat guy in a little coat."
Smile and have a great day!

Gotta love the underdog!
Chris Farley, you are missed!

Monday, April 7, 2014

Don't Poke the Bear

There are few things as important to us as our children. Let me rephrase, there is nothing more important to us than our children. But for some reason, unbeknownst to me, in a public school system where supposedly nothing short of excellence will be tolerated, my children are once again the forgotten ones. Not only not important, but seemingly their education given up on. Their development and progress simply does not matter to the school.
There is nothing like an IEP (individual education plan) meeting to catapult a person into this reality.
Let me give you a little taste. The uplifting message from PT and OT in this particular meeting was that, my autistic, basically nonverbal child in the most severally disabled classroom in the district has "plateaued."
"Nothing more they can do to help him."
"They feel like their time is not well spent with him."
"There is nothing that they, as therapists, can do, that can't be done by his teacher and his aides in the classroom." (because the teachers and aides don't do enough,that is sarcasm at its height-in actuality these people are literally sent from heaven and already do everything for the kids, so why don't we just put a little more on their plate?). 
So just to recap in case you missed something and because I don't still fully believe it myself:
Johnny is in the ONLY FMD (functional mental disability) classroom in all the elementary schools in this city.  He is nonverbal, has had an autism diagnosis since he was three, is one of only four children in the most severely disabled classroom in the entire district and he no longer qualifies for PT services, and his OT services were recommended to be reduced.
"His education is not impacted by safety issues."
Are we talking about the child who will walk out in four lanes of traffic without blinking an eye, or the child that will climb a jungle gym and stand at the very edge of an overhang, look right at you and dare you with his eyes to pay attention to something or someone else and if you do, he will step off the ledge, the child who has zero danger awareness or if he does know, he doesn't care, the child that still does not alternate his feet when going down stairs (which is a big milestone in development). The child that does not throw, pass, or kick a ball on command, the child that cannot sit in a given seat for any significant amount of time without intervention, prompts or rewards, the child that will dart through the school-classrooms, cafeterias, or gym without regard to his own or anyone else's safety. The child who has had poor coordination and low muscle tone on every developmental evaluation since he was 10 months old.  
This child is no longer receiving PT services? Actually that is a statement not a question-this child is no longer receiving PT services. He is still receiving OT, don't even get me started on this topic. My rage will go unbridled until my fingers fall off and I am grateful he is still getting this much needed therapy. I just keep thinking how it was mentioned that the therapists do not have the "resources" to help John. If anyone has a child in this school system, that would make your blood boil, it just would not be tolerated. And I find it equally unacceptable to be said regarding my child's education and future. Yes, I understand it is a public school, but tell me what you need to help him and I will get it. Instead, they look at me for what to do, what to try, strategies to use, ideas. I keep comparing it to getting an email from my oldest child's math teacher asking me how to teach him Algebra. I know, wouldn't happen. 
One thing that became blatantly obvious on that day, in that meeting. No one sitting around me at that table could see things from my perspective. Maybe that's not their fault, maybe it's the "system" that is broken. But, I know they look at me like I am so very different than they, like they could never be me. And I get that, I thought I could never be me.  But I found this "throw up our hands" mentality from therapists in our or any school system, embarrassing and offensive.
Imagine as a parent with a child at any level, being told that they had plateaued? Yeah, I thought it was unimaginable too. For those of you that never have to go through an IEP meeting-you are truly a fortunate person. For those of you that do, I feel ya, it sucks and as much as you want to believe that everyone is there for your child, unfortunately, some are not. You and you alone must fight for your kid and their education. Your child is worth it, no matter if the message is subtle or as blatant as the one above.
Luckily, I have taken a couple of weeks to calm down (oh yeah, totally calm now, I deleted my first rant immediately after the meeting). Now, more than anything, I am disappointed and sad. Of course, I plan to continue working cooperatively with the school, but I will not cower and allow my child to slip through, be forgotten, not get the services he is entitled to and desperately needs for his development and gasp, his education.  I will take accountability for my part. I got lazy, complacent, hibernated for a bit because I felt comfortable, like we were in a good place. Unfortunately, my son couldn't tell me otherwise. I am his voice.
There is no place for a sense of security in special education- the bear has been poked. 
I swear I didn't write this! 

Funny Note: People have asked me why I used this title-Adam says this to Jacob about making me mad :).