Thursday, October 10, 2013

What must it feel like?

Today I have been wondering what it must feel like for Jacob having his "special" brother and sister. Does he sometimes feel lucky because he is the different one and things come easy for him? Or does he feel burdened by their constant need for attention? Of course, I have asked him this question, but an 11 year-old boy is not always great at sharing his feelings and, I speak for only my own child here, he is sometimes only articulate in sports and bodily functions. What does he feel like when we are at the park, at his games, around his friends. Does he ever get embarrassed? Does he or will he resent them? Us?

Yesterday, Adam and I were particularly hard on Jacob because he hadn't gotten his homework done before he played with his friends and then right before bed announced he needed to go to the library for a new book-the way I reacted he might as well have told me he took a weapon to school. I overreacted, I was tired and "done" . Full disclosure, I think I was not only feeling overwhelmed, but resentful that he got to go play all afternoon with his million friends without a care in the world and his brother and sister will never get to do that. Is that his fault? Of course not, and I shouldn't have been so short and acted so frustrated with him. He is a good boy and a good brother and he deserves a normal 11 year-old boy life. (although with his bat crazy mother this may prove more difficult than having two disabled siblings!). Bottom line, I need someone to invent a patience/perspective pill and put me on it either via IV or 3x a day minimum. Wait, I think they have those already, may be time to make an appointment!

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