Thursday, December 26, 2013

Random Thoughts

It Just Occurred to me that..................

Jimmy Fallon is the closest thing to perfection there is. #sofreakinfunny

It may be time to take a step back from my son's preteen life when I sweat my self tanner off at his basketball game. #wowthat'sembarassing

My little family makes the Griswold's look like the Von Trapp's. #therehastobehiddencamerasinthishouse

I am much less distressed by James Franco and Seth Rogan's version of "Bound 2" than Kimye's. #whatishappening?

I have been wearing my huge winter coat for 2 1/2 hours inside since I dropped the kids off. #needfirewoodASAP #freezing

Today of all days I hope noone tells me to "act my age". #justcan'tdoit #39yearsyoung

I hope the maddest I get today is after Johnny dumped my leftover Rio Grande all over the floor. #oneluckydog

The words "healthy holiday appetizer" should be banned from the English language. #oxymoron

I do love the song "Wrecking Ball", I just wish Miley would dress for the occasion. #anyoccasion

I have a grocery list a full page long and a stack of coupons, absolutely nothing on the list is what I have a coupon for. #whatisthematterwithme? #don'tanswerthat

Watching Johnny drinking a Capri Sun takes me back to my college days. #hepoundsit #impressive

I was so proud of myself for getting out my 5 Halloween decorations yesterday! #Oct29th

Yes, even with everything I have going on, I still have a fundamental problem with Kelly Osbourne hosting Fashion

Police. #youdon'tneedglassesitispurple

When my dad used to say, "good thing you're cute," he wasn't paying me a compliment. #ouch

Jacob is not procrastinating when he asks if he can wait till his dad gets home to do Math. He fully understands I have no idea what I am talking about and doesn't want to hurt my feelings by telling me as much. #6thgrademathistheworst

I wish Rocky IV was on tv more often. #deadserious

It may have been slightly inappropriate when Elizabeth's neurologist was referring her to an Orthopedist for Botox in the back of her legs to help straighten them and I asked if he thought they'd do a twofer.......#runningoutoffacecreamoptions

This is not a nine-year phase, Dora the Explorer is always going to be a part of my life. #backpackbackpack

If I wasn't so busy "keeping up with the Kardashians", I may not have found my autistic son two doors down in shorts and no shoes drinking out of a bird bath. #totallyblamingElizabethforthisone

Buying cute gym clothes is not the same as actually showing up at the gym. #noonesaidlifeisfair

Sunday Funday with the family shall henceforth be called Amber Alert Awareness Day. #gettin'thatkidashockcollar

When you have to say to someone "I was trying to be funny," you probably weren't. #toughcrowd

I look tired because I am....#needanap

Entemann's coffee cake could have been the best and worst decision I made today, until Rio Grande. #fullanddisgustedwithself

People will talk endlessly about subjects of which they know nothing. #oftenwrongneverindoubt

When someone asks me what I plan on doing that day, my first thought is, "I hope it involves Days of our Lives." #SamiBradyrocks #embarrassing

Quotes from the movie Tommy Boy run through my head way too frequently for someone my age. #housekeeping

I may need a handicap decal and a few autism stickers for someone not to be douchebag in carline #10moresecondswon'tkillya

My thighs may never not touch again.... #takeawalk